Rather than ransack the place, this guy just sat his criminal ass down in the kitchen and helped himself to the entire liquor cabinet.
To be clear, my neighbor was fast asleep upstairs while someone was getting drunk in his house. He also took some time to explore and left every single door open like he was raised in some sort of felonious barn.
Turns out that he wasn't the first victim. This guy had been hitting houses all over the city and taking whatever he pleased.
What if someone didn't have anything to steal? Well, he'd just go ahead and turn on all the water in the house as an act of revenge.
That's right, this guy was the real-world equivalent of the Wet Bandits from Home Alone.
Editor's Note: Sure as hell not paying for the rights to a photo.
There's no way to find out if he was ever actually caught. One can't help but imagine an ingenious detective simply following a trail of wet, drunkenly stumbling footprints to his hidden, evil lair, though.
So there's your first Fitch Bit. I can't completely confirm that it all happened, but I can't see why it would be made up. The break-in was also corroborated by another neighbor.
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Until next time, stay gold, Pony Boy or Girl! I know it doesn't make any sense to add "or girl", since I'm quoting a name, but we're just inclusive like that!
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