Rather than ransack the place, this guy just sat his criminal ass down in the kitchen and helped himself to the entire liquor cabinet.
To be clear, my neighbor was fast asleep upstairs while someone was getting drunk in his house. He also took some time to explore and left every single door open like he was raised in some sort of felonious barn.
Turns out that he wasn't the first victim. This guy had been hitting houses all over the city and taking whatever he pleased.
What if someone didn't have anything to steal? Well, he'd just go ahead and turn on all the water in the house as an act of revenge.
That's right, this guy was the real-world equivalent of the Wet Bandits from Home Alone.
Editor's Note: Sure as hell not paying for the rights to a photo.
There's no way to find out if he was ever actually caught. One can't help but imagine an ingenious detective simply following a trail of wet, drunkenly stumbling footprints to his hidden, evil lair, though.
So there's your first Fitch Bit. I can't completely confirm that it all happened, but I can't see why it would be made up. The break-in was also corroborated by another neighbor.
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Until next time, stay gold, Pony Boy or Girl! I know it doesn't make any sense to add "or girl", since I'm quoting a name, but we're just inclusive like that!
Slightly Odd Society
A very special thank you to the Slightly Odd Society Members on Patreon and Substack!
This post was originally shared as a Facebook and Instagram "DID YOU KNOW" post. I share them weekly, and you can get in on the fun by liking my page at Facebook.com/TheNewSlightlyOddFitchburg and following me at Instagram.com/SlightlyOddFitchburg ! Now onto the unexplained story! DID YOU KNOW the earliest documented Bigfoot sighting in Massachusetts occurred in 1765 in Berkshire County? According to historical reports, explorers in the Great Barrington area encountered a "monstrous" creature described as having long, dark brown fur and human-like features, often referred to as the "Beast of Barrington". Detailed in The Berkshire Edge, the incident featured a creature wearing a hide resembling a large bear. “Built like a horse!” the headlines screamed, “Farmers terrorized!” Fun, right? What do you think? Leave a comment below! Slightly Odd Society A very special thank you to the Slightly Odd Society Members on Patreon and Substack! Ruth Dempsey SpookyT...
Welcome to the Slightly Odd Society: The Official Membership for Slightly Odd America If you love paranormal history, cryptids, ghost stories, haunted places, folklore, and weird American history, you’ve found your people. Slightly Odd America started in Fitchburg, Massachusetts, as a project to document the odd and haunted history of Central Massachusetts . It grew into a nationwide community of strange history buffs, ghost hunters, urban legend obsessives, and cryptid fans. From New England folklore documented by the Library of Congress American Folklife Center to cryptid legends tracked by the Smithsonian’s folklore archives , weird history is real history. The Slightly Odd Society is the official extension of Slightly Odd America. It's not a replacement. It's not a spin-off. It’s where Slightly Odd America gets more interactive, more personal, and odder. Think of it like this: Slightly Odd America is the free feed you know and love. The Slightly Odd Society is your all-ac...
I'm BAAAA-AAACCKKK!!!!! Let me ask you a question: Who is a haunting for? That might seem silly, but just think about it for a second. Is a haunting for the haunter or the haunted? If you were to die tomorrow, why would you haunt someone? Would it be for your sake or for theirs? Just consider what's going on. You're dead, and you're never coming back. Your Earthly coil has been shed. None of it affects you anymore. Time, space, ailments, old age, it's all gone. The length and breadth of the universe are yours. Eternity is yours. What do you do? You're a celestial being now. Does anything that happened in life matter to you? Let's say you were murdered. So what? Why would you care? You can see the endless reality of the stars ahead of you. Why would the transgressions of an evolved ape against your former meat vessel, all those breathless eons ago, matter to you? Well, maybe we can delve into that question with a look at the S.K. Pierce mansio...
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